The Secret of Generosity
by Blartox Tigerin

Today I was approached by a young human. I fail to recall his name, although I know he was quite new to the realms, because he asked me to loan him a meager hundred coins for the purpose of paying off a debt. Now being the kind soul that I have been trained to be, I decided to give this youngin' the silver that I had collected off of a single hunt which totaled out to 1,864 coins. He stood in amazement as I handed him all these coins. He gasped and said he only needed 100 coins for his debt, and told me again and again that he could not accept such a large amount of coins. I in response told him not to worry, because I had just made a deal that would profit me a net 2 million coins.

The idea of having such a large quantity of coins seems odd to many newcomers to these lands that we live in. Yet for many of us that have been here for so long seem to forget what it is like starting out owing a few hundred silver to the Moot Hall. Having to fight kobolds day in and day out in order to be able to go to a tavern with that cute Half-elf who still delivers messages. To afford that first step into mithril is one of those days I feel I shall never forget.

The amount of coin needed to do these things such as buy small enchanted weapon, or to take a cute Elven date to get some ale is minute to most of us. I can say with confidence that with my bank account I could by a full set of mithril armor and weapons plus spend a thousand coins at the tavern every day for the next year, and I would still have coin to spend. So why in this day and age do we see so little generosity. At the risk of sounding like I'm hypocritical, I believe we all need to make a basic change in attitude. For those of you that grew up when I did in the Landing, or even today if you live in remote towns of Ice Mule and River's Rest, we know what it is like to have people always there to help us out and to enjoy the lands with. I remember almost always seeing Lords and Ladies handing out blue crystals and such outside the cul de sac. Now adays, the only time I see anyone giving things away is a gambling game to have fun, such as The Millionaire Game, seen in the west tower of the Landing, or when people leave the lands. Every time that one of us leaves, the rest seem to gather around and try to pick off scraps that they drop. I feel strongly against going to one of these ceremonies unless you know the person. I mean this is basically the reading of the will of these individuals, but it turns into a vulture frenzy.

I feel sorry for those growing up in today's Elanthia. I wish all of you could know the Landing that brought me up. The Landing that actually allowed me to have all the pleasure I have. You people growing up seem to never get a chance in this world. I see people yelling at you for being out of character attempting to get going in a strange world, then make a killing off ripping you off and selling you maps from the blacksmith as treasure maps. I feel sorry, and any new people that need some help starting out, I'd like you to know that I never close my tables to anyone. If you ever want to talk and get to know someone in the lands, just send me a thought.

Now to the rest of yas mooks that all seem to be so bent on making a silver by making killings off the new people. I have some words for yas: Either ye never spoke to the man named Thrak, or you weren't listening. You need to be nice to your fellow adventurers. I ask all of you people that can afford a simple weapon, to share your silver, and even if you can't buy presents for youngins, at least take em to the tavern for some ale.

Alterations
by Gahread Tempestus

In the, admittedly few, times I’ve walked into the tent of an alterer, I have been amazed at what transpires in there. Folks who’ve been around the lands for years, legends in their own time, can be seen behaving worse than a young lad right off the farm. Kicking, screaming, biting, and fighting are the norm. Of course, with half a hundred people crammed into a tiny tent I can understand some of that. Elbows get put in the wrong place, booted feet mash hairy toes, and tempers flare. But then the artist herself comes out, and things go from bad to right down the garderobe.

The instant everyone lays eyes on the actual traveling merchant, the tent explodes with questions. ‘Are you still doing alterations?’ ‘How many?’ ‘Are you going to be here later?’ ‘How are you picking?’ are the standard ones. Then you get the ones that make you truly wonder about the questioner- ‘What are you altering?’ or even better, the same question that was answered thirty seconds ago. Of course, there’s also the inane, that being whatever is pasted up onto the big, easily legible signs all over the inside of the shop.

Once the traveling artist has answered as many questions as they can, without repeating themselves, it’s usually time to pick. Finally, the room grows hushed; everyone waits tensely, wondering if they will be one of the lucky few. The two most common methods nowadays are by precedence, or simply, who was there first, and via a magical thimble or somesuch. The thimble is, as far as we know, completely random, and selects from whoever is present. After the chosen have been selected, there is the inevitable round of sniping, backbiting, and general nastiness over why someone else got picked besides the complainer.

The third phase is now over, and most of the hopeful leave the tent, and pick up whatever they were doing before. Some remain, gambling that they may be squeezed in at the last moment, after waiting for several more hours. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes they end up spending half a day or longer staring at the inside of a wagon and slowly going insane, only to walk out empty-handed.

If you happen to be one of the lucky ones, all you have to do now is wait in the tent for a time ranging from bare seconds to several hours. What fun! Meanwhile, the tent reverts back to phase I, the petty bickering. Even better, you just might hear the question that makes my blood boil: ‘Anyone have ideas for an alteration?’ from someone who just got picked.

After all this, you finally get to head to the back room, the place where the whole transformation takes place. You are completely ready to walk out with your new item. You hand over the sword, or backpack, or cloak, and whisper into the merchant’s ear your most desired possession. And then, she looks over at you, shakes her head sadly, and says ‘I can’t do that.’ Fifteen minutes of back-and-forth wrangling later, you walk out with something that at least vaguely resembles what you’d hoped for. Depending on your mood, and how much it got changed around, you might be feeling ecstatic or disappointed and morose.

I myself have been there. I know how aggravating trying to get an alteration can be, and how frustrating it can be to get one, and find out your heart’s desire cannot be realized. To that end, I have researched a few rules and guidelines.

• First comes the good old rule of fifteens. Alterers can create an incredibly intricate work, but it must be closely examined, or shown to someone to actually see the fine details. For everyone else, the item will look relatively plain. In fact, in every modern case, items with a SHOW to them can be described in 3 segments of 15 letters each, including the spaces between words. For example, a bloodstained /midnight black /assassin’s cape, while certainly lacking in originality, is allowed. It has 15/15/15 letters in each section. A bloodstained /midnight black /assassin’s CLOAK, on the other hand, has 16 letters in the last section, and simply won’t work.

• By the same token you can have a description longer than the 15/15/15 rule. You will have to give up any finely detailed work in exchange for having immediately visible changes that are under one ‘line’. In this case, you could get "A bloodstained midnight black assassin’s cloak, held closed by tiny stiletto-shaped buttons". Anything much longer than that and you need to be prepared for the merchant to turn it down. Items with a show can be up to four ‘lines’ or so, in addition to the 15/15/15 initial description.

• Blood. Many people want bloody items, apparently to seem threatening and vicious to all that care to look twice at them. Personally, it sets me to wondering how they hurt themselves and ended up bleeding all over their belongings, but it is their choice. Blood on weapons will not work though. In addition to showing how little you care for the blade by not cleaning it, blood will dry and flake off. The same goes for shields or other metallic objects. Wood, cloth, or any other porous object can be sometimes be bloodstained, but may end up with an unidentifiable brownish stain on them instead. It depends on the merchant.

• On the subject of spelling and grammar- get it right. Enough said, I hope?

• While we are on grammar, a word on verbs. I have seen very few swords that are truly ‘terrifying’, ‘awe-inspiring’, or what have you, with the possible exception of an immolation blade. You cannot dictate how someone else will feel upon seeing your possessions.

• Actions are generally limited to one at most. I have seen one person who wanted a ‘mural cloak’, with a picture of ‘an assassin snatching up fallen jewels, and running off with them, while…’ Needless to say, this did not pass muster. Remember that this is a static, non-moving object. While you can show a picture of someone defending, or stabbing, or even blood dripping, one person can only do one thing. The aforementioned assassin’s cloak could have a picture of ‘an assassin running off from a fallen victim, ill-gotten jewels spilling from his overstuffed pouch. The assassin’s running, and the jewels are falling, and each object is doing one thing.

• Last among these rules of thumb is ‘if you want it, have it’. You want your sword to have an emerald set into the pommel? Get an emerald. I have heard of one person who wanted a Turamzzyrian gold coin clasped pouch. The artist agreed, and asked for the coin. If that person had produced a bent coin, the merchant probably could have straightened it out, shined it up a little, and affixed it to the pouch.

So, now that you’ve come up with your alteration idea, modified it if needed to meet the general acceptance standards, you can seek out a merchant, sit down in the tent, and hope for the best. Er, you DID plan everything out before you walked in, didn’t you? Best get out that quill and start cracking! Feel free to dream up alterations you are sure could not be created by the most friendly, drunk alterer on their worst night, as long as you have others that you know would be instantly accepted by even the grumpiest dwarf. The best thing you could do would be to create that fantasy creation, and tame it down by stages. If they don’t like the first variation, maybe the second? The third? Keep in mind that during one of the last long-lasting visits from an alterer, during an approximately twelve-hour stay, 35 alterations were completed. The rest of the time was taken up by question and answer sessions and trying to coax a workable design from the customers. Imagine if everyone walked in knowing exactly what they wanted, could describe it in 30 seconds, and spend a few minutes fine-tuning it with the merchant. 12 hours, divided by 5 minutes per person, equals a lot of happy folks.

Finally, I would like to add a word on taste. Yes, it is subjective. But please, try to be unique. There are MANY evil looking, bloodstained and so on containers in Elanthia. There are probably almost as many ‘mural cloaks’. For those who have not seen one, mural cloaks typically have a scene of some sort stitched onto the back, often of a combination of a race and profession seen slaughtering a huge horde of a creature of your choice. There are good ones out there, but that scene predominates. The way I see it, pictures like that belong on the back of black leather jerkins worn by men of questionable grooming, who prefer places worse than Helga’s. (If such a thing could be imagined!) Let that creativity flow, good luck, and show it to me afterwards, eh?